"My Wife Blames Me for Sending Too Much Money to Family in Africa: My Money is Gone Every Month!"

Jayson Thornton, CFP is an award-winning Financial Advisor and host of Pocket Watching with JT a financial advice podcast and YouTube channel. Below he answers a recent question from a subscriber:

Seih from MI asks: "Hey JT, I make a tad bit under $5,000 monthly and my monthly expenditure is $4,200 but I'm always left with nothing at the end of the month. My wife blames me saying I send too much money to family members in Africa. How can I change my situation?"

JT: You Don't Have a Wife Problem; You Have a Budget Problem.

Seih, let me tell you straight: I salute you for being open enough to bring this question to the table, but we've got to stop focusing on the finger-pointing and start looking at the scoreboard. Your wife is a teammate, not an enemy, and your financial stress isn't a marriage problem—it's a Step 1: Budgeting problem.

You think you have a surplus of $800 a month ($5,000 income minus $4,200 expenses), but that money is disappearing. You're playing the game of money without a scorecard, and you can't win if you don't know the score. We need to find the leak, and we need to do it now.

Pocket Watcher Action Plan: Start with the Scorecard 📉

The Pocket Watcher's Seven (7) Money Rules is a mandatory, sequential framework, and every financial problem starts with Step 1.

• 1. Get Your Money Scorecard (Budgeting): Your immediate goal is to gain clarity and control over cash flow. You need to stop arguing about the money going to Africa and figure out where all the money is going.

• List Everything: List every dollar of income and every single expense for the last month. Every bill, every payment, and every transfer to family members must be on that list.

• Find the "Want Money": Once you see everything clearly, you'll find the "Want Money"—the discretionary spending on non-necessities. This is the easiest place to find extra cash to free up your budget. Stop looking at your transfers to family as the only problem; look at that money as part of your overall expense plan, and find the money to pay for it by cutting wants elsewhere.

• Find Your Starting Point: You need to calculate your Net Worth Truth (Assets minus Liabilities) to know your true starting number.

• 2. Build Your Safety Net (Emergency Savings): Once you've completed the Budgeting step, your next move is to build your Debt Spiral Guardrail. You need a safety net (typically 3 to 6 months of essential living expenses) in a High-Yield Savings Account (HYSA). This is a crucial step that stops unexpected bills, like a car repair or a sudden medical cost, from forcing you into new debt and backward steps. The rule is: You must fill this savings account before moving on to the next step.

• 3. Debt Planning: Since you didn't mention high-interest debt, you're in a great position to skip straight to Insurance Planning (Step 4) once your emergency fund is full. But if you have any high-interest debt (like credit cards), that is your next monster to kill aggressively.

  
  

Seih, the first thing you need to do is stop guessing. The first step is clarity. Once you can show your wife the black-and-white numbers—where every dollar is going—the conflict will shift from emotional blame to a cooperative budget plan.

You are in control, Seih. Financial freedom is not about making one big transaction. It's about building new money habits, and watching your pockets. Your next step is to go to www.PocketWatcher.net and follow the Pocket Watcher 7 Money Rules! 

About

Jayson Thornton, CFP is the founder of Thornton Financial and host of Pocket Watching with JT where he answers your financial questions²¹. To learn more or submit a finance question go to www.PocketWatcher.net²².

For press inquiries, contact Jayson Thornton, CFP at PocketWatcherJT@gmail.com or 314-776-9076. ^23232323